How to tell an ex youre dating someone else

Do you honestly want to tell him because you think he would be hurt by it? Obviously, none of us know his personality and if you truly care about him and actually think that he would be less-hurt to find out about it from you, then I could see why you might want to tell him. Basically, I'm saying that there are about a million ways it could be a bad idea and only one tiny one where it could be good. My magic 8-ball is giving pretty clear indications here Why do you think this would hurt him? And how might the new guy feel about the ex having such status that you have to inform ex?

Preparing Yourself

You do not have any such responsibilities to your ex. If i were in new guy's place, if you told ex for any reason other than it came up in a friendly conversation, I would be keeping an eye out for signs that you were using me to get over ex or to make ex jealous, or that you and ex had some kind of codependency drama.

Any other signs of any of those, and I'd be out. Just live your own life. You are a year or two away from the place where you and ex are just friends. I wouldn't tell him. Somehow to me this feels like you're still not quite over your ex, in a way. Or even if you are, I feel that it could give him that impression on some level. If you know that you're both going to the same party, that's one thing. If you think that you might just happen to run into him at a bar, that's different I'm going to go against the grain and say And I'm bringing my own baggage to it where my last two exes were people I'd known as friends for years and hoped to continue being friends with afterwards.

Like darksong mentioned, if you broke up a fairly short time ago, I would in your ex's situation appreciate a heads-up that this is a new-thing they might hear about or see on FB and there wasn't any overlap. I'd rather hear it from you with that footnote than simply wake up to couple-photos or a relationship status-change on Facebook if you're still friends there and wonder. If it was such a long time ago that the question of overlap wouldn't enter my head, then I'd just leave it alone. Up until the point where you know for sure you're you're going to be in the same social scenario where it might come as a shock to them to see you with someone else IF you've been keeping your new relationship low-key on FB and generally.

Then a little "hey, I'm looking forward to seeing you again, not everyone knows but I am seeing someone new I hope it won't be awkward but I understand if it is" mssg is ok. And that's assuming you want to stay real friends with your ex, not just amicable acquaintances.

If it's been awhile such that you seeing someone new shouldn't be a real shock , if you're not planning to be real friends but just amicable exes and do the slow-fade By the time he bumps into you and your new bf he'll already know and have adjusted. If someone I hadn't dated for four years felt the need to break it to me softly that he was dating someone new, I'd wonder if I should be insulted that he thought I was so fragile, or if he was still hung up on me.

Yeah, maybe let me know. Just to be clear, the OP has dated the person for four years, they broke up earlier this year, which isn't super clear how long, but at most the break-up was in January. I agree that with the idea that this isn't a necessary heads-up, but would be fine to do. I, too, thought the best test was for the OP to rely on their gut reaction to what they would want if the situation was reversed, with the caveat that they should consider if the ex-boyfriend would truly want a heads-up.

No, don't reach out and break your minimal contact to tell him this. Then you can send a short friendly text, "Hey! I heard you're also gonna come to Sarah's dinner party. It will be nice to see you! Wanted to give you a heads up that I've been newly dating someone and am planning to bring him along.

As always I really value your friendship and thought it might be right for you to know ahead of time. Make sure he knows the ex will be there, intro him proudly, give him some extra love. Now, if you run into your ex unexpectedly with the new guy, be friendly and cool! Don't be awkward, walk straight over to your ex and give him a normal platonic hug, intro him to new guy.

Chat about the weather, politely keep moving.

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Text later to say, "Good to run into you at the party! IMO - finding out through the grapevine is exactly how he should find out, and I might take a few indirect steps to make that happen via mutual friends.

Even with pure motives as yours seem to be, unless it's a Big Deal Relationship, telling your ex will only appear mean-spirited. Your romantic life is none of his business in the same way his is none of yours. Let him find out through the grapevine. If you two had broken up and still stayed close friends, yes pre-emptively telling them would be good--friends tell each other about things like this. He will find out, and it would be through the grape vine.

If you were still close friends, I could see how you may want to drop him a line about it -- but being that you don't contact often, it's not something you should go out of the way to mention to him. It may actually come off as mean or rubbing it in - which I know is not your intention. Maybe at month 3 you let him know, because that's about how long it will take to figure out if the new guy's going to be a long-term thing. Your ex should expect you to be out there dating, no need to go out of your way to rub salt in the wound by declaring it.

What's worse, finding out out of the blue, or having it thrust in your face? The latter is often a ploy used by people to continue to be a factor in the other person's life. If just to make sure the other person is miserable. Leave well enough alone. Live your life and dedicate it to the new relationship you're building. Which should be getting the lion's share of the attention anyway. Just how well do you think it'd go over for the new person to see all this energy being spent on the old relationship?

Think of how folks might go about advising someone that came asking that question?

No doubt it'd get a lot of negative responses. Well, don't set that new person up to have to come asking Well, now we've heard this question from the other side in this thread. If you think there's a likelihood of something like this happening, I probably would recommend letting your ex know. Dont tell him till things are more settle down btw you and your new partner This thread is closed to new comments. And not to make her choose between her new partner or me.

Is she in a rebound? Although she said it is better that I move on and forget about her, she also still wants to play the online games we play together as she still likes spending time with me. What should I do..? We are going to get married in the game we play this weekend. She knows I still love her, and I know she loves her partner.

Could she be lying? What should I do Some individuals require constant attention and companionship from their partner or they begin to latch on to a new person when those needs are not met. Either way, she seems to be more inclined to her new partner at this point, to which you shouldn't overthink small gestures that may not mean anything because that will drive you crazy.

From how I see things, your ex may actually be someone who is drawn to the person that makes her feel positive, while showing her lots of attention and care. If you're able to deal with that and start as friends but perhaps using the game as a way to build a positive bond with her, you might still have a chance. However, if you don't think you can go through with things smiling and pretending to be ok especially while she remains with her current partner , it might be more advisable to move on.

Thanks for your reply Ryan. Regardless, no contact should still be applied, whether it's to give her space to miss you, or even space for you to pick yourself up. Hi , so me and my ex have been together for 2 years i broke up with her about a month ago , this was the 4th time we have broken up and I've done it 3 out of the 4 times , I realized it that I need to change and I love her but she got a new job 2 weeks ago and started seeing somebody else , he s giving her the attention and all the sweetness I started lacking in , they work at the same place and same hours , she said she doesn't know if it's the right choice or not but she's guna try it with the new guy , I tryed everything to convince her but she said she loves me but is afraid we will get together then I will dump her again , what shoujld I do , just let it go and let her try it with the guy.

I've tryed everything ,she said she loves me but yet what's to try something new cause she's happy with this guy they work same place and same shift , he gives her rides home buy her flowers. Given her current fears right now, even if you win her back, she would still be ridden with the insecurities that you would break up with her at any point down the road.

Since she has expressed that she intends to give it a shot with the other guy, you might have to respect that for now, and only try again if they were to end things. It seems like the guy may be a rebound relationship considering that it started pretty recent after the breakup with you. We broke up a month ago and i was like a crazy stalky and jealous ex She kept telling me that she wanted some space and time, that she wanted to be alone, and wanting to respect her choice i cope up with that for 1 week then the miss was too hard and talked and it always finished in a fight and she blocked me on all social media.

Since you've already gotten blocked and acted needy, you should give her some space for now and begin no contact instead. Fighting on under these circumstances would only ruin your chances further in getting back together with her. Yes I had completed NC and it went very well. But I think you're right.. She had been giving me a hard time about a few things, I did try my best to resolve those negative thoughts, because like you said in the 5 step plan its important to talk and sort stuff like this out. I know shes had been speaking to someone else so I don't know if that's playing on her mind.

When I told her that it was best to leave things she kept looking at old photos from stuff we've done together and showing me, so she clearly was emotional about it. Perhaps I need to change my approach and maybe start being a bit more strong headed?

If you genuinely want her back, being strong headed might not be the best idea as it may push her further away instead, reminding her of the past. Remember that you're supposed to have changed and improved for the better, so if something is bothering you regarding her, perhaps its best you be honest about those feelings and show her you're capable of communicating effectively. This might increase her affection towards you and even assure her that your change is something permanent. I was with this girl for over a year. We never got intimate as she wanted to get married.

I went out of my way for her supported her financially, accepted and loved her son and family, she never posted anything about us on her social media and in December a week before Christmas we went to Hawaii with some friends.