As with any visit to the family house, gifts should be presented in order to put you in good stead with the family. American men have described the process of courtship in the Philippines as a romantic and affectionate experience, not unlike how they imagine knights in armor to approach their love or how things used to be performed in the West.
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The slower pace and more thoughtful approach is often seen as being more intimate than the rushed, all out in the open, contrast of how dating is sometimes performed in the USA today. This gentle courtship often blossoms into relationships that are much more robust and long lasting than their Western counterparts and by respecting the culture of your Filipino lady you will find yourself a dedicated, loving and affectionate wife, who was definitely worth every second you spent in courtship.
Discretion is The Key Traditionally a male suitor will approach a Filipino lady whom he wishes to court in a discreet and friendly manner, so as not to appear aggressive or arrogant. Formal Courtship After a successful teasing stage the couple move forward into a more formal and recognized courtship. A Romantic And Affectionate Experience American men have described the process of courtship in the Philippines as a romantic and affectionate experience, not unlike how they imagine knights in armor to approach their love or how things used to be performed in the West.
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When the approval is obtained, the suitor can then come to the house with the go-between who will initiate the introductions to the family. The parents in turn will introduce their daughter to the gentleman. In this stage, the suitor is expected to bring "pasalubong" or gifts to the family and a special one to the girl he likes. This he will have to do everytime he visits the girl's house.
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In the Philippines, when you court a lady, you have to court her whole family as well. In this first visit, the couple will not be left alone on their own to get to know each other. It will just be an informal chatting and introduction and getting-to-know stage between the suitor and the family and making clear of the suitor's intention to pursue the host's daughter.
After the initial visit, the suitor is then expected to woo the girl by showing up in her house more often and establish rapport with the her family. This is the stage where he does the "paninilbihan" or servitude.
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He serves the girls family in any way that he can to show to them and to the girl of his sincere intentions and love for her, be it by chopping firewood, fetching water from the well, etc. It is a way of saying "I will do anything to prove my love for you".
At night, he will sing "harana" or love songs outside the girls house by the window with a guitar and his friends serving as back ups. They will sing and wait until the lady finally opens the window and invites them into the house.
They will then be served with light snacks and they can talk in the presence of the girls parents and the man's friends. Note that in most times, the couple will be with either friends or families. It is considered inappropriate to leave an unmarried couple unsupervised in those times no matter what their ages are. The process of courting a Filipina in the traditional sense is a long and arduous process.
Courtship in The Philippines
It is expected that a Filipina will play hard-to-get when court because that is the norm. No matter how much she likes the man, she has to show utmost restraint and disinterest. Girls are made to believe that men will value them more if they are made to work hard before letting them have what they want. So after a long period of paninilbihan and a series of haranas, the girl can finally accept the suitor's love. At this stage, the couple can now start dating in public but always in the company of a chaperon.
The man will still continue to come to the house and help out. When the time comes when he feels he is ready to get married, he and his parent's will have to come to the girl's house and the parents of the boy will have to formally ask the hand of the hand of the girl in marriage to their son.
Courtship in The Philippines
This stage is called "Pamamanhikan" or "Paghingi ng Kamay". In doing this, they will have to bring with them, lots of food and presents as well as the dowry that they can present to the girls parents. Sending flowers, chocolates, jewelries and gadgets are popular gifts from a suitor to her lady love. Sending e-cards and messages on Facebook and Twitter are modern ways of showing love and sincerity. Courtship may last for years.
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Group dating and Online dating are popular forms in finding potential partner. Modern Filipina may encourage courtship but she can also initiate the dating process. Jonathan Crawford September 1, at 4: XGamer 25 October 3, at 4: Macky Boy November 22, at 3: Javier Kitano Picpican November 4, at 5: Collins Guzman December 13, at Gleo Mar Aquino March 13, at 8: