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The Dating Advice I Would Give My Newly Divorced Self
Do you date your phone? Do you swipe right for the prison guy? Do you become Mrs. Robinson for a night…or a week? Here is what I do know. You are totally going to F things up. You are going to make some amazingly bad choices more than once. You will be totally miserable…and you are going to KILL it!
Welcome to the 40DD club. May your cups always runneth over as we navigate this strange new world together. I knew I had to move on. I had to move forward.
What would be my jumping off point? I also needed someone or some group of bitches to shove me off the cliff.
40DD – Forty, Divorced and Dating
Too much going on at work. Craziness in my life at home. Remember me, hot mess over here. And I also remember my friends not giving me a choice about going. They shoved me off the cliff. I packed a bag and off I went. I just needed to have sex with someone else to move on. Maybe getting lucky would be more of a St. Had that changed too? I was screwed…and not in the good way.
My vagina was in hiding. Covered in dust and cobwebs most likely. How would I summon her home? I remember talking to Cookie one night during a late night trip to Target. Did I have the essentials? Did I have condoms? Hell no, why would I?! And then she made me walk to the…dare I say it…condom aisle… like a freaking adult. We laughed over the phone at the options as I read the boxes and tried to decide what mattered most at this point in my life. Did I care about his pleasure? That sounded more like it. Should it be highly lubricated or feel like second skin?
When was the last time I had even used a condom? It was 18 years ago. I bought a jumbo box to make Cookie happy. I scattered some in my jeep, sprinkled some in my purse and shoved them in just about every drawer at home. You know…just in case someone, some day, wanted to…oh my god.
I was going back out there. To the dating world, where men would kiss me on the mouth and see me naked. Maybe it would be fun but I highly doubted it. We left for the island in the middle of an ice storm which seemed fitting.
Huffington Post Divorce
This felt a lot like my reluctant entry back onto the dating scene. A few short hours later, I remembered why these women were my friends. Island cocktails, infused with enough rum to keep Blackbeard down for the count were flowing. My groove was resurfacing thanks to , sunshine and these ladies. That and shove you down the driveway through the ice to find your dusty vagina. I was slowly remembering what it was like to have fun. I was dialing in my mojo. I met a hot guy who had his zip code tattooed on his torso.
He was young, dumb, and oh so pretty. We admired his abs which showcased this tattoo that would no doubt help authorities when he was lost and too drunk to remember his address. Maybe I was going to be ok out there in the world. Our conversation was stimulating. I could still flirt.
Top 10 Single Mom Dating Blogs Winners
I was rusty but I had this bull by the horns. I took the advice of one very drunk girl at the bar that night who yelled over and said: All I needed was that girl time away from the world to remember the old me. Time to sit on the beach and soak up the sun. Cry a little too.
Four days where your best friends reassure you that you are strong and amazing and you WILL be get through this. Skip to content Menu Home About Contact. Most men who say they are separated have never sent that memo to their wives. I have talked to countless married men online who represent themselves as single. I will find your truth in 5 minutes max. I received a message from a man this week simply asking for my address because drinks with him needed to be earned. Younger men have a strong Mrs. The answer as to why they like the older, more mature ladies is always the same. Older women are more confident and they just know what they want.
They want you for one thing.
10 Best Dating After Divorce Blogs (12222)
You are better than that. You should be ashamed of yourself. None of your business darling. Never sacrifice your ideals or morals to impress someone.