The 72 hour rule dating

He would sit and meditate under a tree with a decision for days. One of those who always believed he was right, so he never wanted to make a bad decision which would warrant an "I told you so". He would rather take three trips to the grocery store and leave without an item if he was not sure of the brand, packaging or color. On the other extreme was someone like myself, one who could be called a gunslinger. I used to decide so fast that with barely the blink of an eye you won't see the choice I have made.

I was always so terrified of not taking immediate action, of not doing and regretting later, that the wrong choice to me was preferable to doing nothing at all. At least then I got to feel regret instead of panic, wondering what the outcome would have been had I sat it out and done nothing. Then there is the third kind of a decision maker who is a happy medium between those two extremes. Most people fall in this category. Although I'm not so sure now what my friend, Frances, falls under.

She's a weird one.

She does not make any decisions without consulting her pendulum. Not a single one. From the food she eats, to the clothes she wears, the books she reads and the hair color she decides on, each must meet the approval of the pendulum. More and more now I see how most of our decisions are made from fear: Fear makes us go too fast, or too slow, and robs us of the wisdom to make an intelligent choice because we're so terrified of what might, or might not, happen. I have come to the conclusion that regardless of what you are faced with in any single moment, knowing how to game yourself is key.

When fear strikes, which it always will, when you feel your heart beat faster and your stomach churning, when you feel a shudder and a tremble that is when you must pause, breathe and step back. The last three years, and ever since I had my car accident last year, have changed the way I look at life, the way I make decisions, my choices, and how I am present in my world. I've also reached a place where I've decided that I am going to pay really close attention to messages the universe sends me.

Last week I was having lunch with three of my very dear friends at a posh restaurant in Bangkok. As we were seated and the waiter handed us our menus and placed glasses of water on coasters I found my eyes drawn to the writing on my coaster. Was the Universe saying just go ahead and make a decision, and worry about it later? That I could commit to a choice and know that it could be reversed? Wouldn't undoing the choice be painful in certain situations?

Then on the back of the large menu were the words: If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on going. I believe the Universe was telling me to have faith and not to obsess about the outcome to my decisions. Perhaps chill out, take a breather and allow my mind to sort of languish on par with the extensive heat we're experiencing in Bangkok at this time.

I pondered on that one. The connection point between two people is in this moment. The example above sounds parental and abusive. It sounds like another lecture coming. It sounds like 'I know more than you do'. One partner lectures, the same old lecture , and the other partner's eyes glaze over and they tune out, thinking '… here we go again. This is what creates a barrier to communication! I call it slinging mud from the past. All it accomplishes is building walls between us. From the dishes to an affair - why the rule is always the same.

Even if it is nag nag about not doing the dishes every night, start now to find a new way of figuring that out. Brown is out now. She usually hates being the nag and he hates her nagging. That is a major libido killer when she feels like he is the boy-child and he feels like she is the mother. Stop nagging and be nice to each other; Do the dishes together.

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Whatever you do don't keep doing the same thing over and over and expect it to get better. Start being friends again. Meanwhile, affairs are a huge wound to the relationship, and you don't get over it by not talking about it nor move past it if you keep talking about it.

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Only around 31 per cent approximately of marriages survive an affair I have a huge chapter on affairs! The bottom line is, how do you thrive because of the affair - not just survive?

Why 72 hours is the cut off for ANY tiff if you want to save your relationship

It takes a complete change in mind set to successfully move forward after an affair and it takes time. Stop blaming each other about the past! Do not say YOU this or that.



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Use the pronoun , 'I need' or 'I feel'. Pay attention, monitor yourself thoughts and feelings during the information exchange. Be direct but non-threatening to your partner.

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If you feel tense, agree to take a minute break and come back to finish the conversation. Communicate acknowledgement, not necessarily agreement. Finish the discussion successfully no assumptions, no raised voices, and no full blown arguments. The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline.

Can't fix it in three days? Then let it go for good: Share this article Share. Affairs are a huge wound to the relationship, and you don't get over it by not talking about it nor move past it if you keep talking about it. Key steps be followed by both partners 1. Use the pronoun , 'I need' or 'I feel' 4. Pay attention, monitor yourself thoughts and feelings during the information exchange 5. Be direct but non-threatening to your partner 6.

If you feel tense, agree to take a minute break and come back to finish the conversation 7. Communicate acknowledgement, not necessarily agreement 8. Share or comment on this article: Why 72 hours is the cut off for ANY tiff if you want to save your relationship e-mail Most watched News videos 17ft crocodile killed after eating Indonesian scientist Angel Moms storm Nancy Pelosi's office over border wall Polish mayor stabbed on stage during live charity event Protests outside Brooklyn church after pastor charged with rape Gas station worker killed by driver stealing gas during hit-and-run Cat comforts his friend who previously suffered from anxiety Arizona restaurant employees beat down would-be robber Heartwarming moment baby hears sister's voice for the first time David Cameron insists he doesn't regret calling the referendum Boris Johnson believes 'still have time' to get better Brexit deal Paul Massey's family pay tribute after his killer is found guilty White man punches year-old black girl in altercation outside mall.

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