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She cheated, she broke up with me, and now this? He broke your heart? That was his excuse for, after we had sex the last time EVER! I kept telling him that I had plans, but he just kept lying there in my bed smiling and laughing as I got angrier and angrier.

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Finally, after at least an hour of arguing, I got in the shower, got dressed up and went into town — on my lazy day! It was only when I demanded he leave because I was obviously leaving, that he left, too. Sometimes there are no answers in life, and even if there were, would you want to know them? However, Mandy, 36, would like to know. Yes, I went there specifically to take him home. So, we had sex, and it was a lot of fun! The next morning I left him in my bed and went to work. When I got home I noticed that pretty much all my non-perishable items in my kitchen, as well as my expensive pens — I love fancy pens — were gone.

Yes, I was sleeping with, like, two of them, but it was a dick move on her part, because we were, and still are, broken up. Um, duh, lock, hide, or give your phone to a friend when an ex is around. Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again. Yes, you might end up back at their place, and it will feel unreal. You might even go to voicemail. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday.

It seems like, at least at one point, you were the bigger and better deal for him. Again, I gave you my disclaimer with my thoughts on that.

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So what if he runs back to that other girl? Have more confidence in yourself and your abilities to influence him. You can get him to leave that girl. You can get him to come back to you. What I will say is, if you have confidence in yourself, your chances of that happening will increase. Go right back into no contact. After the no contact rule, I want you to flirt with him the exact same way that you flirted with him before that made you hook up with him.

There will be one difference this time.

The Side Effects of Having Sex with Your Ex

You are not going to hook up with him. You are showing him the entire cake. You need to understand that this will make him mad, but it will also raise your value. At this point, when he does come back wanting more cake, friend zone him. I talked about this in the friend zone episode. I will link to that in the show notes of this episode. Then you can listen to that and understand how to friend zone a guy. After the friend zone, I want you to lay down the law.

EBR 018: I Hooked Up With My Ex… Now What?

After the friend zone, you will be enough value for him. You will be the bigger and better deal. That was Episode You leave him wanting more. He will come back for more, most likely. There is something powerful in doing that. We will never be together.

7 Horrible Truths About Hooking Up With Your Ex

I think the number one mistake women make when they try to get their exes back is that they do so from a position of weakness. What I just explained to you with this game plan is how to get him back from a position of power. I have no problem walking away from this. I am higher value.


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I am so confident in myself that I can find someone way better than you. You should be begging me to take you back. Then we will never be together. Then go into a mini no contact rule for seven days. Repeat this process over and over again. You will always have him on your hook. He will always be left wanting more.

7 Horrible Truths About Hooking Up With Your Ex | Thought Catalog

He will always want you, Maggie. That is what you need to do. You need to accomplish this if you want him back. Again, I always want you to keep in mind that, if he did cheat on his new girlfriend with you, that may make you happy that you got him to cheat on his girlfriend. That is a big assumption. If you want to learn more about how you can get your ex back from a position of strength as opposed to weakness, please check out my website, Ex-Boyfriend Recovery.

Maggie, this will end the game plan for you and the episode. If you have not subscribed or left a review on iTunes for this podcast, please do so. Just leave an honest one. Tell me what you think. We need those reviews to continue to thrive on iTunes. Quite frankly, we are not doing what I hoped to be doing. I need the listeners here at Ex-Boyfriend Recovery to please help this podcast so that I can continue doing it. I hope you have a good week. My ex and I have been texting and we actually had a fun date tonight.

I pulled away from him before he kissed me and teased me a bit but then he pulled me in and kissed me. However when he got home he wanted pictures from me and I sent them. What can I do about this? I want to be seen as someone of value. I did the no contact rule for a month without interruptions, improved myself, became an ungetable girl, started talking through texts, then calls, then we started going out.

He was suddenly moving out of the country, so he begged to see me and we ended having sex. When he canceled his trip, I talked and asked to take things slowly with exclusivity. We have been doing for 5 weeks, the past 3 I denied having sex with him and he got really mad. Should I just wait? I hope you stick to nc.. I went through the same thing.. And in the works of hooking up more in the couple months which he initiated. I get the feeling that he still want to work it out but afraid to commit to me..

I really need an advice.. Dont devalue yourself by continuing to do that.. If you dont want, at least stop sleeping with him.. Hi, I am in desperate need for advice. I was dating this guy for four years. After 8 months he started reaching out to me and told me he wanted me back. I gave in, we started visiting each other LDR and acting like we were dating again.

Well I cut him off for months and now he is back again. We started texting, then going on dates, and ultimately I slept with him a few times while he was in town.

We are still long distance for the time being, but I do miss him in my life. Please let me know what I should do from here. Hi, So we spent that weekend together and he has been coming to visit every couple weeks. How do I ask him where this is going without scaring him away? I want to either commit or move on… I fear he is having his cake and eating it too with me and although we have only been doing this for 1.

It will just make you friends with benefits.. I will look at that. Do I agree to go? I just went through something similar.