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Changing the plan at the last minute is offsetting to them — and will almost never go over well. To the INTJ, arousal is not purely instinctual. Attraction begins in the mind and the best way to get them in the mood is to mention a sexual fantasy that gets them thinking — hard. INTJs are creative, kinky lovers who view some parts of sex as a challenge. They want to constantly improve their game and continually get their partner off in better, more creative ways.
This type enjoys the mental connection that comes with sexual intimacy just as much as they enjoy the raw physical component.
Politeness Is Artificial Good Humor
They analyze people exactly as they are — the good, the bad and the downright terrifying. Just go with it. They get you and that is usually a good thing. INTJs have no patience for passive-aggressive comments or subtle remarks. If something is amiss in the relationship, they appreciate being told point-blank what is wrong and what the best course of action would be to fix it. To an INTJ, every conflict is a puzzle to be solved.
Dating an INTJ Personality Type
Sound a little technical? Once an INTJ has decided that you are the partner for them, they become highly emotionally invested in the relationship. They show their love by devoting themselves to the relationship and by tirelessly working to improve it. The tricky part of this equation is that both types are a little less relationship-oriented than the serious INTJ. When a partner leaves the relationship with little warning, the INTJ has a difficult time moving on until they can fully understand the cause for the upheaval. Relationships are a puzzle just like everything else and the INTJ wants to solve it before they can finally put it to rest.
At the end of the day, you have two choices in love — one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away. My struggle is to keep pursuing order and to get alone time in my large family. I really want to work with driven people who want to collaborate instead of compete so I figured I'd look where the INTJ's are and narrow down my options from there. Self promotion isn't my thing either although I feel that's the way of our world now.
How old are your kids? Have you homeschooled from the beginning? Hope you are enjoying homeschooling. It is super challenging to balance, and there is a temptation to over plan and to over critique ourselves. But I find it so very rewarding. My oldest is sixteen, I homeschooled her through sixth grade. I still have five children at home, so I will be doing this for a while!
My main goal is to cover the basics, while giving as much freedom as I can and keeping the kids' natural sense of wonder alive. They also do a lot of helping with siblings and helping around the house and yard. It is crazy how often I hear about supervisors who are threatened by competent people! I would think a fast-changing industry would be a good place to look for an attitude of growth?
I learned a lot when I was listening to a podcast called Radical Candor, about communication in the workplace and how to be a good manager.
You remind me of my younger self, when my priority was raising my two daughters. I encourage you to keep on investing into your children, as you appear to be filled with love and passion for your current purpose in motherhood! Elisa, Thank you for that very encouraging message! It occasionally seems funny to me to be the "criminal mastermind" type and spending all my talents at home.
But nothing seems more crucial to me than teaching, training, mentoring and loving other human beings.
INTJ Relationships
I love getting to know them and trying to help them grapple with life and learn what their talents and passions are. I hope to support them in a way that enables them to find their purpose. I have a suggestion Lately, I have been immersed in Dr. Jordan Peterson's youtube channel on The Psychological Significance of the Biblical Stories, having been interested in psychology since my university days and currently attend Bible studies. What are your areas of interest and thoughts on this?
I encourage you to also invest in yourself! What can I say that hasn't already been said. Shocked is an understatement when I did the test, emphatically accurate! As you evolved with time, did you find happiness and a feeling of accomplishment? It is nice reading to all your comments and realizing I am not the only one.
I am sorry to hear that you are really struggling. What gives you meaning? When my first child was 7 months old, I had a full time nanny take care of her, while I worked full time for 3 months. Therefore, I took on a part time position that effectively was a demotion. Fast forward to today, I am still working part time. I just breathed a sigh of relief to find you all, as I'm relating with almost all of what has been said here.
I have often felt so alone in how I view or carry out our homeschool due to my personality that it makes for some dark days and doubting. Some days there is fulfillment in knowing we're giving them the best we can. But, there are days when I feel the opposite for all parties invovled myself included! It has been helpful to read the last comment from Elisa about keeping things into perspective Thank you all for being open and honest. I wish we could all have a facebook group together.
Know that this thread has been an answer to prayer from frustration as I'm contemplating whether to continue homeschooling next year or not. Best wishes to you all in your endeavors, fellow INTJ women. Thanks for your suggestion NatD! Based on our personality types and the rarity of finding one of us in the general population it is safe to say that we believe ourselves to be odd because we do not encounter many people like ourselves.
Thus based on our understanding of regular society we consider ourselves to be odd. I had never encountered anyone quite like myself in 50 years, which caused me to think that I was unique until I discovered INTJ-A and its meaning. True to type but with a better understanding of how I fit into the overall scheme of things, I still consider myself to be blessed with a rare gift.
I fit all the INTJ descriptions, but I too am Christian and have valued raising my family and spending time with my kids. I also volunteer at church and in my community. Your pursuit of order is admirable, but don't take yourself too seriously! Order and lots of kids is close to impossible.
Your best bet might be controlled chaos. It is very difficult to find alone time with kids and family commitments - I found that to be the most exhausting part of raising a family. Use your drive to raise your kids to be the people you want them to be, then give it over to God. Knowing my personalitiy would have been such a confidence booster as a younger woman!
Had a ton of kids. Had a sleeping baby on me as I read your comments. I have no income, which is a constant source of discouragement for me! I don't mean to be proud but looking back I know I could have been a doctor, scientist, anything. I love science and learning.
My brother is an electrical engineer, mom a teacher, dad an engineer at Space Center.
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Sometimes I think I've failed to become qualified to make money and sometimes I wonder if God has me exactly where I am because he values my time with my children more than a second income would benefit my family. I've kind of fallen into hippie medicine. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with my life still. I guess I'm doing it but feeling like I've got some fire burning to accomplish something more than educate my kids.
Honestly, I feel like that's wildly important but much easier than people make it and that there's more I could be doing. No adivce for you Claire, but awesome to meet someone else with same passions and personality.
INTJ Weaknesses
Like yourself I am very family-oriented and spritual. Less "religious" than spiritual. Daily studies in the word. Perhaps, speculation based on the way that we think.