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Stop looking for certainty. Right now you can't know anymore. Learn over time what he's like as a friend as well as a lover. See if he's kind, generous, responsible, reliable. Be less open to his sexual fantasies if they make you even remotely uncomfortable. Stop pretending to be any more "progressive" than you actually are. Your boyfriend sounds comfortable with how things are.

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The point is, you're not. Bring the relationship back within your comfort zone by cutting down on "openness". My husband has always been very work driven, and in the early years this caused much disagreement between us as he was never at I have a multitude of issues with my boyfriend and am feeling very stuck and unsure about what to do. My boyfriend is 33, I'm At the beginning of our relationship we had enough sex to satiate me. Now it's been three months and there is nothing. Not only is there no sex but there isn't even any hugs, kisses or touching.

Niamh Horan French intellectual Yann Moix made international headlines this week when he said women over 50 were "too old" to love. My boyfriend is lovely but I'm secretly scared he's gay Library image. Patricia Redlich April 18 5: My boyfriend is lovely but I'm secretly scared he's gay. My husband is obsessed with work, and I'm left at home lonely and I found her ex-boyfriend's number on her I have just found out that my partner has been in My marriage is falling apart and I'm desperate to do I can't help feeling that my marriage is falling apart and Also in this section.

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My husband is obsessed with work, and I'm left at We haven't had sex for months I have a Sin turned my purity to ashes I used to be part My girlfriend keeps breaking up with me before I was with my My boyfriend got me a kettle and teabags for I'm worried that I'll never find romance I am a middle I still love my girlfriend and just wish we Handy hints to surviving - even enjoying - your Christmas break For me hearing My boyfriend went home with the office bike I home-schooled her, then sent her to a series of private schools while we tried every possible drug combination.

At night I lay awake in a house stripped of anything sharp or toxic, knowing that if she really wanted to commit suicide, she would find a way. At work I waited for the call I feared would come. And it came, many times. But she never succeeded in killing herself. Throughout all this, I had only one certainty: I believe my daughter warned me, with uncanny prescience, at the age of ten what would happen to her.

Why is my boyfriend of sixteen years stuttering? He fixed this malady in elementary school twenty-five years ago.


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Worried about the return of this problem, I suggest some possible causes: Is something happening at work? As the days progress, his stuttering becomes more pronounced. Our friends start to notice and whisper to me. I consider calling a doctor for a professional opinion. I talk to his mom, my parents, and my closest friends, hoping that someone can give me some insight. His frustration is increasing each time he opens his mouth, and my annoyance, previously well hidden, is coming out. There are no other ailments, and he keeps insisting that nothing is wrong.


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  7. During a break in the action our friend pulls me aside and tells me he thinks something is going on between my newly stuttering boyfriend and the female half of the couple with whom we have been spending most of our free time. I am horrified but calmly confront my boyfriend later. He lies several times before I discover the truth. To me she was beautiful, angelic. She was always hiding herself, her fatness, the body she loathed. I have a picture of her in a long red coat, one of the few photos in which she is not standing behind someone.

    She was a size Her friends were stick-thin Depression-era women who wore dresses with belts, pleated skirts, and tight cotton blouses. Most days my mother wore a faded pink chenille housecoat, threadbare in places, that smelled like an unmade bed: In happier moments she stuffed her torso into a tight girdle, as if punching down bread dough.

    No one could convince her she was beautiful, though we all tried. My dad would buy her a new dress, but she would toss it on the floor and tell him she would get dressed up after she lost some goddamned weight. Then she would slam the door so hard the frame would jump. She died by her own hand. She was always so happy, so cheerful, so willing to help.

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    They knew only her radiance, her strength, her clean house. He lived in another city but would arrive for weekend visits bearing groceries, wine, and flowers. The strangest thoughts would go through my mind. For example, the first time I saw him with his shirt off, I thought, He got that body in prison.

    Then I shook my head and wondered where that had come from. What was my problem? As the relationship became more serious, my anxiety intensified. When I was working at my computer, I felt as if R. During one of R. It made no sense.

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    My strange, nagging fear was that he would find my Social Security card. Finally I decided to end the relationship. I told her I planned to end it when I saw R. Two hours later he pounded on my door. I let him in and immediately regretted it. His eyes were wild, and his voice shook.

    I tried to stay calm while mentally calculating whether I could grab my keys and make it to the car without him catching me.


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    I had no idea what he was capable of doing. My house was in the country with no neighbors for a half mile on either side, so it would have been pointless to scream. I thought about using the cast-iron skillet to defend myself. I stood frozen as R. He also told him that I was a liar and a whore. As the truth emerged in the weeks that followed, I felt strangely validated. A police detective told me how my boyfriend had stolen the identities of roommates, co-workers, and girlfriends.

    He was surprised R. I worked hard all day and took classes at night. Feeling the strain, I would drink a few beers in the car on the way home to help me unwind. My wife would get angry if she saw me drink more than a six-pack, so I tried to get as much as I could in me before I got there.

    The first few beers went down smoothly, and I tossed the empties on the floor. The alcohol got my blood flowing and my spirits high. I had been anticipating this moment all day. The radio volume went up, and the windows went down. I never worried about getting caught — until the night I almost ran over a cop. I saw a car pulled over to the side of the road with a couple of police cars behind it. I swerved around him at the last second. So I did what any responsible driver would have done: About two miles down the road, figuring I was out of danger, I popped open another beer.

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    The adrenaline rush subsided, and a smile spread across my face. Then lights flashed red and blue behind me. Panicking, I spilled my beer while trying to stash it under my backpack. I pulled over, resigned to the fact that I would be going to jail.

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    Instead I thought I was charmed and could get away with anything. Two weeks later I awoke on a hard concrete bench in a cell with five other farting, coughing men. I was led before a judge, who read the charges against me: I remember instances on the playing fields in school when my eyes would shudder and my visual field would become a series of frames for a few seconds, like a slide show.

    Then there was the way I constantly caught my left toe on shag carpets or grassy surfaces, and my occasional difficulty swallowing.