There are many words on the effective end of our list like zombie , band , tattoo , literature , studying , vegetarian yes! Talking about specific things that interest you or that you might have in common with someone is a time-honored way to make a connection, and we have proof here that it works. Awkward , sorry , apologize , kinda , and probably all made male messages more successful, yet none of them except sorry affects female messages. A lot of real-world dating advice tells men to be more confident, but apparently hemming and hawing a little works well online.
First Message Strategy #1: Go For Laughs
It could be that appearing unsure makes the writer seem more vulnerable and less threatening. It could be that women like guys who write mumbly. Mentioning your religion helps you, but, paradoxically, it helps you most if you have no religion. These are the religious terms that appeared a statistically significant number of times. Atheist actually showed up surprisingly often times per 10, messages, second only to mentions of christian and ahead of for jewish and for muslim. But ideally you should just disbelieve the whole thing. The program then aggregated results by phrase before presenting the data.
No one at OkCupid read any actual user messages to compile this post. Written by Christian Rudder.
Sign in Get started. Paying her a more meaningful compliment is a breath of fresh air for her.
Mentioning something yummy-sounding works just as well on dating apps. In fact, it literally stimulates your brain and makes you feel good.
First Message Online Dating Formula That Works (With Examples)
And the better she feels about talking to you, the more likely she is to share her number. The example above is more suited for a dating site where longer messages are the norm, but you can get her talking about herself on a dating app with a short message like this:.
Those three elements are crucial if you want to get a response to your online dating opener. Weekday evenings are generally best — many women unwind from a long day at work by firing up a dating app while catching up on Netflix. According to Nielsen , activity on both OkCupid and Tinder peaks at 9 pm, and usage starts to rapidly decline after 10 pm.
On Bumble, the real action starts a little earlier, with activity peaking at 6 pm. And if you happen to find yourself stuck inside due to inclement weather like a blizzard, hurricane or rainstorm, put these first message examples to good use.
11 Online Dating First Message Examples That Get Responses
NBC News did a little investigating, and found that bad weather goes hand in hand with increased activity on dating sites and apps. In many cases, the increase was pretty dramatic. Send her a light-hearted follow up message like this one:. The more messages you send, the more desperate you look. Women are too smart to fall for them. Not only do copy and paste messages work , but we get incredible results for our clients with them.
First Message Strategy #2: Connect On Common Ground
Other industry experts recognize the wisdom of the copy and paste method as well. And even if a woman calls you out on sending a template message, so what? And many intelligent women recognize the wisdom of using them, like this one who weighed in on a Quora forum discussion:. Nothing kills your online dating game quicker than being dull.