Word travels fast in high school.
High school may be the guided safari, but college is like being out in the wild on your own and you have no idea what to do. The chances of you dating only one person if you can get a date at all over the next four years are pretty slim.
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We have this, but see that and want a piece of that, too. College students have a lot to focus on, and sometimes relationships make life too complicated. Competition is fierce out here, cuz. Your date ideas will need to be on point, like relationshipgoals type stuff. Most college students have been on a few dates, and not many of them were that memorable. See what is out there. When we first became friends, I remember thinking he was such a mystery.
He was tall, skinny, and always wore converse and cuffed jeans. Little by little, I was able to uncover more details about the life he mostly kept secret. We confided in each other about many things, including the toxic relationship with his seemingly perfect girlfriend that attended school a few hours away, his divorced parents and my single mom, and the internal struggles we had on a daily basis.
The weekend that he and his girlfriend broke up, he drunkenly confessed that all of the time we had been spending together the past few weeks had made him fall for me. Unsure of how to react, I told him he needed to figure himself out and that I would be there for him, and we could revisit that possibility later.
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I was attracted to him of course, but he was a mess I was not ready to clean up. And I gave him a chance. That was a huge mistake. Everything went well for a few weeks, and then he began to drop off the radar. He stopped going to class, began to smoke more than three times a day, and went to great lengths to avoid me. I was more confused than hurt. Nevertheless, when word got around that he slept with another girl in the building across the way, I was done. A few weeks after we stopped dating, I found out via social media that he was back together with his ex-girlfriend.
That one hurt like a bitch. It was through 2 that I learned one of the most valuable lessons that every girl needs to know: We had been good friends since the beginning of the year, since we met through all of our mutual friends. I had always thought 3 was cute, but had never carried a conversation with him long enough to know what he was really about. However, that all changed one day when I casually stepped into his room to have a conversation that turned into three hours long.
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We had so much in common: All made for good conversation every time we saw each other. In my head, it only made sense for us to be together. He was single, I was single. We were both reasonable, good looking people. I seemed to forget one important thing: I definitely did this with 3.
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When I brought the idea of us up to him, he cringed and hesitated and immediately my heart fell. He gently told me what a great girl I was, but he really just was not looking for anything romantic right now. His reasons are his, but I will still never truly know if it was because of me personally or because of his own reservations. As I write this almost a year later, though, he has still never been romantically involved with a girl. So here is the lesson I learned: We all want to be that girl: He was one of the live-in staff members in my building, and we connected late in the second semester.
When he started to show interest, I was open to trying it out just for the hell of it. He was the one that was comfortable. He was the one that was always kind. He was the one that made you feel appreciated. He always wanted to eat at the same restaurant every night, play soccer in the courtyard every day, and dressed in the same simple clothing with the same simple haircut. There was never anything else to spark our relationship. He was so intelligent, but never wanted to challenge anything I had to say; he only ever wanted to agree with me.
He was so open-minded, but never wanted to complain or tell me anything exciting about his day; he only ever wanted to hear about mine.
I know so many people who would criticize me for feeling this way, but it just felt… boring. He would have given me everything I needed, but not everything I would have wanted.
Nothing we experienced together made me feel like I was growing. When I ended things, I felt extremely guilty. He was so kind, and deserved someone who would be kind to him, too. But then of course, I met someone 5 that made me feel every emotion possible and then some.