The puffier, the better. The more glittery, flashy, lavishly decorated dress—the better your standing.
Although this is a competition, it should be noted how much this tradition brought women and family together for the pride of the bride. This might sound strange, but young Roma girls are actually encouraged to dress provocatively.
They are taught to tease the boys and attract suitors. They are not even supposed to kiss before their wedding day, which seems to go against the sexually explicit way that they dress. Boys are allowed to do it before they are married, but are taught that their future wife should have her v-card. But Roma is a culture—it might seem foreign to us but it is how they operate. The females are taught to dress in flashy clothes—dressing modestly is not in their nature. And yet, girls are taught to be chaste in their behavior.
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It is what it is. There are certain parts of Gypsy culture that have stayed true, and some that have changed with the times. Historically, if you were a Gypsy, Romani or Traveller, you traveled. Although Gypsies lead nomadic lifestyles, generally most of them live in apartments or houses. This does not mean that they stay in one place the entire year, for many of them travel to find work or to visit family for extended periods. But their home is still a base for them to operate from, and a place for them to settle, however temporary it may be.
Furthermore, older Gypsies are less able to travel, and younger family members need to have somewhere for their elders to reside.
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Remember, family is very important. For both Romani and Travellers, domestic violence rages within their cultures. The numbers that we have are quite staggering. What exacerbates this problem further is that Gypsies are conditioned not to trust an outsider, so calling the police when it comes to domestic violence, is out of the question. Furthermore, because it is so common, the problem is not met with a lot of sympathy from the community. Gypsy women also have very little education, so their ability to survive on their own, and support their children, is daunting. How is someone without a high school diplomas supposed to earn enough to care for a growing family?
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Gypsies tend to live in family groups, called kumpanias , and among them there are leaders. Phuri dai is a senior woman in the "band" that looks after the welfare of women and children, specifically. There is also a chief, usually referred to as a voivode, whose job is to make decisions in harmony with other elders, including the phuri dai , on what is best for the group.
The leaders serve as heads of the family, and are looked upon with respect. Although women can hold a position near the top, it is always a male figurehead to serves as the voivode. There are still a lot of chauvinistic characteristics of the way that modern day gypsies live, and it is dictated in how they operate. Men are always higher on that ladder. Now that we have distinguished between the Romani and Travellers, we can better explore the two group and their particulars.
The Romani women love opulence; this is evident from the creation a reality show that is based purely on their competitions to have a bigger, more expensive, magnificent dress than their peers. We will get into greater detail about the wedding dress, specifically, in another item on our list. But this tradition of opulence has been around for years, for Roma women have always been adorned in jewelry. That stereotype of a gypsy wearing a headdress was actually common place among Romani women and has dated back for centuries.
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Coins would be attached to their head bands, dangling from their foreheads which displayed prosperity but also generosity. Roma weddings are luxurious, over the top, and studded with bling.
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But they have a very deep meaning that may not be apparent to outsiders. Marriage is supposed to be forever, and they take this very seriously, especially for the Gypsy women. Girls get married very young-- usually in their teens-- and have intercourse with only their husbands. There are very rarely divorces in Gypsy culture. Women have been defiled, since they have clearly had sex with their husbands, so no Gypsy man would want to marry them again. A Gypsy man, however, would have better luck because he is allowed to have sex before marriage.
The modern Gypsy woman may be stuck in the cultural equivalent of the modern 's; destined for a life of domesticity, tied to her husband forever. Family used to be very important in most cultures, for many reasons, but times have changed. It is rare, especially in the United States, for families to live all together.
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But to the Roma, family is everything. The Romani place great worth not only on immediate family, but on extended family, as well. It may seem foreign to most of us, but to them it is a way of life. It is a cultural distinction that sets them apart from the modern day families that surround them. In the US, in Europe and around the world, there are certain aspects of gypsy culture that are paramount to their survival, and family is at the top. There is no one who will have your back, who will travel with you, protect you, entertain you—like family. It is not a well-known fact that the Romani people faced a fair amount of discrimination throughout their history.
They appeared in Europe with dark skin and dark hair and were enslaved. We have all been exposed to their nature; they are seen as sneaky and shrewd fortune tellers who will steal your valuables before moving on. Although the nomadic lifestyle is their truth, it was really a matter of their survival rather than their cunning nature. They banded together to flee persecution and their culture became highly insular because they were always on the move.
Due to the nature of the travels, this greatly limited them to education opportunities and it made it hard for them to ever become more than an outsider, anywhere. Friends and family are all they have. The claims that the series perpetrated racist stereotypes and that it generally misrepresents the gypsy people, holds a lot of water.
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