The second married Frenchman to ask me on a dat e was the owner of the chicken rotisserie stand across the street from my apartment. We went on a couple of dates to neighbourhood bars; one night, I asked him back to my apartment, at that point still unaware of his marital status.
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The effects of online dating on society might be much more profound than most people think. A new study is connecting the rise of online dating to an increase in interracial marriages and marriages that last longer. I offered a detailed summarisation of the six months with my last boyfriend. I remember being more surprised by the timing than anything else: Deep down, we all want to be the perfect relaxed French girl.
The third married Frenchman to ask me on a date was my language instructor, whose immediately prior act had been to ask me to write an essay on love and my ideal partner. In the end, I did not complete that essay, and I found another French tutor, a communist Ph. Still, though, I was curious. I had friends, American and otherwise, with French partners, and those partners seemed, true to form, attentive, chivalrous, gallant — as well intellectually inquisitive and kind.
They held open doors and cooked galettes only on specially made pans. What would it be like? Then I met David. He was French, but he pronounced his name David, the American way, with a long A in the first syllable. He had studied filmmaking at NYU and claimed he had investigated our American dating rituals.
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He, like many French people I discussed the matter with, was fascinated and repulsed by the American idea of the what-are-we conversation as the true commencement of a relationship. And so we began at the beginning. He was exactly what I hoped he might be, the prototypical Parisian boyfriend of my American imagination. He sent me pictures from dinner with his longtime friends, three men his age smiling in front of a camera over plates of raclette.
He was very good at sex, an act that was nearly always precipitated by the presentation of a small box of pastries, usually eclairs. The stunning French countryside. This was exactly what I had wanted, except that I felt terribly alone.
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We often ate dinner at restaurants populated chiefly by elderly French couples, immaculately dressed octogenarians who seemed to observe each other with the same cool but admiring gaze I associated with much shorter relationships. I doubted that these women, over many decades of marriage, had ever appeared before their husbands in yoga pants and hoodies.
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A future vision of Paris - the year Photos by Vincent Callebaut.