When a guy makes the assumption of what he thinks you want, it's because his ego is way too big. This article explores three reasons a man should call after sex and when if ever it's ok to not call after sex. If a guy isn't interested in anything serious, then he should be upfront and honest about that before sleeping with you.
Why date a woman for several weeks or months—getting her emotionally attached, then sleep with her—knowing you have no intention of calling because you are definitely not looking for anything more than a one-time hook-up or a casual fling? Why not just pay for a prostitute?
How To Play It Chill After You've Had Sex So He Doesn't Ghost You · Betches
Frankly, it would probably be cheaper and less emotionally messy. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an advocate for paying for sex.
However, if a guy cannot be honest with his intentions, then maybe another avenue would be best for him. FYI—it is legal in parts of Nevada. Sex is a two-way street. It takes two people to consent to sex, as well the desire to ultimately be together.
Why men pull away after sex (and what you can do about it!)
For most women, this desire is built up after spending time with a guy. Increasing the amount of dates, laughs, commonalities and romance—the stronger our feelings develop—intensifies the want to sleep with the guy we are attracted to. For any man to assume what you want or expect without asking first, is frankly offensive!
Maybe you also want to just have fun especially if the sex is good. Maybe you want to date, but not have a commitment. Or, maybe you like the guy and don't have any expectations, but want to keep an open-mind versus closed for whatever could potentially happen. Again, calling the next day or the day after sex does not make a woman automatically think that you are her boyfriend. But, it does make her think that you are a decent guy. Calling, especially if the sex was great, not only confirms that you also enjoyed yourself, it makes her feel valued and again respected.
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Not reaching out afterwards—makes you a dick. Although it might be an easy out for a guy to claim that he didn't call after sex because you weren't "the one," there are usually many more reasons why you might not hear from a guy. Ladies, if a guy decides to fall off the map—weeks, months, or possibly forever—after sex, then shame on him! He is definitely not the right guy and does not deserve your time, or emotional energy thinking about him.
I get that some men will freaked out easily needing to go into their man-cave to figure out what they are feeling and then come back when they are ready to handle the situation , but is that the type of guy you really want to be with? Red flags can appear in all relationships; however, when they appear too soon that is never a good sign, especially once you have been physically intimate. Protect yourself emotionally and physically.
Discuss what you are looking for before sleeping together—be very clear. And, always, always wear a condom—if he doesn't call, you have one less thing to worry about. Other than the reasons listed above, it is insulting to not call a woman after sleeping with her. I can't tell you how many of my guy friends have said that the reason they did not call after sex was because they didn't want the woman they slept with to think that they wanted a serious commitment.
They didn't see her as marriage material, so what was the point of calling? My reaction, "did she tell you she felt you were husband material? Yes, some of the reasons might sound ridiculous, but it's just as ridiculous for a guy not to call, especially if he is over the age of thirty. When two adults, who have been dating for awhile, decide to connect in a sexual way, then the man should at least be considerate enough to tell you if he is no longer interested. If the interest isn't there anymore, you are told so—preferably by a phone call. However, receiving a text or email is better than nothing.
Ladies, remember we also hold the power to our own fate; we don't always need to wait for a man to call us. If you have not heard from him, call him. If he does not pick-up or respond back after a few days —shame on him! Let's keep it real, no one likes to feel like a one night stand to a guy they have been dating. Unfortunately, no answer is sometimes an answer and dwelling on it will not change the outcome. Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. However, putting a nice spin on things doesn't hide the adult truth.
In less than characters, Twitter often paints the narrative in stark clarity as the tweet below illustrates. Some, horrified by the graphic content or lack of self-esteem of the tweeter , cower in embarrassment at airing such private laundry while others electronically 'high-five' her boldness with a deluge of favourites and retweets. But, whatever your perspective, she raises a pertinent question.
You're a real catch but here's why women aren't interested.
How many women have been on the end of such disrespectful treatment? You could be happily involved with another person. However, just a name drop or chance meeting has you seeing more red than a surgeon's scalpel. Crude language I know, but it's exactly the emotional response this behaviour evokes, even in the most elegant of women. However, it still burns like open wounds in salt water if you bury your head in the sand. So, evolutionary psychologists Buss and Schmitt make a suggestion as to why it actually happens.
Call it what you will.
However, whatever your view, according to Buss and Schmitt , it links back to the different short and long-term mating strategies employed by men during our evolutionary past. In the long-term, men assess you for all the right reasons; respecting your physical and psychological well-being. Where is this relationship going??! This is a bit of a chicken or the egg scenario.
Or clarity around what sex means to your relationship? Did you ask him if he wanted to be more than friends with you?
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Did you talk about your intentions for a relationship? Only in the next few days, do they start to wonder about what it meant. If you ask questions about where the relationship is going after the fact, specifically when a man pulls away, he tends to get very uncomfortable and withdraws even further. In this case, wait until he comes back looking for a connection, then you can get more of a sense of where this relationship is going.
No strings attached type of play? Or is this person someone you might want to pursue a relationship with? Here are a couple scripts I wrote to inspire you. This same script can be used by men with women as well. You get to decide exactly how you want to play this. Women can be fulfilled by a fling. For women, bonding increases with sex. This just means that a casual sex scenario can potentially set you up to feel hurt or disappointed.
Your hormones will tell you that you want more and more. Your mind needs to counter these messages with your own logic and understanding. Always check in with yourself: What does this sex mean to me?