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Notification of Changes Whenever we change our privacy policy, we will post those changes to this Privacy Policy page, and other places we deem appropriate, so our users are always aware of what information we collect, how we use it, and under what circumstances, if any, we disclose it. It's time for the Best Post Contest! Vote by Fantastic flag! Create a category, make a post, join the fun! How do you gently tell someone you're casually dating that you're also dating someone else? April 30, 4: This has come up several times in my dating life, and I've been consistently stumped as to how to respond.
I - a girl - will meet a guy. I'll start casually dating said guy by "casually", I mean: We like each other, we like the same stupid movies. Everything is going pretty well! Now, I may also be, equally casually, seeing some other guy, and even if I'm not, I sort of feel like it's not really any of his business if I am or am not: Then the guy will, point-blank, ask me if I'm seeing other people. I never know how to respond to this. Part of me is irritated that he's asking I wouldn't ask, for instance but part of me, because I'm kind of lame, wants to soothe him: Do you want us to be exclusive?
OKAY, okay, calm down! Should I sidestep the issue? Should I say that it's not really any of his business? Is there a non-confrontational way to get out of this debate? Should I tell him before he asks? No, that doesn't seem like a good plan, no matter how much esteem you might have for someone you're dating. My advice would be to reveal this up front and very early on-- first or second date: I hope this isnt' a problem for you and that if it is, you'll let me know and we can talk about it. I do want to continue to see you.
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If asked and you are, say "Yeah, I am. You may or may not want to have the exclusivity talk before you sleep with them. This, IMHO, is something that should be clarified before anything starts. Socially awkward person I am, I have no idea what you would say, but if it's not the big deal that you feel it is, I'd make sure from the outset that no one the guy reads too much into anything.
Because if he know's what's going on from the beginning, he won't get mad later on. You could ask him why he is asking, and steer the conversation away from the topic from there. You are right, though, it is none of his business. And I say this as the guy that would probably ask that dumb question. I always thought women are more likely to ask this first than guys are. Of course, I'm a guy, and I date women, so maybe I'm not being very scientific. I've learned over time that honesty is the best policy here.
If the other party is at all reasonable, they more or less expected to hear "yes" before they even asked. It's a thorny issue, though, but sometimes I think people ask it because, on some level, they want to communicate that they're interested in moving forward, and they want to see if you are, too. My only question would be why would you not want the guy you're casually dating to know about the other guy you're casually dating?
Is it because you want guy B to think there is no guy A? On preview, why exactly isn't it his business? If I were one of those guys, it would be helpful for me to know if I'm going to need to compete for your attention. It's absolutely his business.
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He's most likely looking to start a conversation about What's Going On. If either person needs that conversation, then that conversation needs to happen. It doesn't have to turn into anything other than "We're having fun, seeing what happens," but check-ins are often necessary.