Emma I first went GA to fix this issue but if someone really wants to change they must themselves!! I abstained for six months when I was with my ex fiancee but she beggan to trust again and I missed one meeting and slipped, I got back on the programme of recovery again but slipped bigger as she began to be influenced to leave me.
When you love a compulsive gambler :(
This desease will always be inside him like it is me, if you truly wish to spend your life with this man then you and especially him need to understand how devastating this desease is and how if he takes one day at a time with the love of a good woman he can combat this and you both can begin to live a happy life, but you must understand this will be a constant control of money and you must always be aware of the signs that he is in action.
I suggest also you look at gamanon as this will give you a clearer understanding also of what partners suffer through our illness. Apart from that I truly hope your fiancee gets ont he programme and gives you the things as your fiancee he should, because to stick by him this far takes special praise and am sure if you control the money and he sticks to GA you will have a better life together.
The last thing I will say and please do not resent this do not feel guilty for anything, you obviously ahve lived with this and understand it but it is not your fault it is simply a desease that your fiancee has and must for yours and his own sake do something about permanently for you both to lead a happy life together. Hi Emma, Living with a compulsive gambler are all of the things that you have mentioned in your posting.
You need to protect yourself financially and stop enabling him to get money to gamble with ie loans etc. Then if you are prepared to live with this man you need to seek some support and a good starting point would be for you to go to a Gamanon meeting this is for the partners, family, friends of a compulsive gambler. You should be able to find this information on this web site, if not ring the GA help line. Unless this man is ready to surrender and be genuine about going to meetings there is not much you can do for him I'm afraid.
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You are only a young person and need to think about your future. I would really like to go to gamanon, as far as i am aware there is not one close to me, I live in Barnet. I hope that things get better and that one day i can post my story on here about the positive outcome. I also hope that you stay strong and keep helping others as you are doing x.
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Hi Emma I am also a CG and i have put my husband and kids through an awful lot. Your partner obviously has a serious problem with gambling. Firstly let me say that as CG myself i know the pain and suffering gambling causes and i admire you very much for standing beside your partner through this terrible addiction. You must no longer pay off any of his debts as he has to start taking responsibilty for what he is doing. You sound like a wonderful and caring person but im sure you have had enough of the lies and misery that comes with a CG.
Trust me i know!! Please stay strong and i hope this advice helps x.
He actually went into a rage and threw away his wedding ring, which we never did find. So yes, it did get worse instead of better, and we eventually separated.
What It’s Like To Be In A Relationship With A Gambling Addict: The Aftermath
My husband finally admitted that he did have a gambling problem but promised me he was done gambling. He also told the clergy his cousin that the whole marriage breakdown was due to his gambling and that he was not going to gamble anymore because he loved his wife. But just four days later I learned that he left work early to go to Treasure Island. I also learned that his trips up north to visit his brother were trips to the casino.
I heard the sounds of the casino. We eventually got divorced. I still love him and I know he still loves me, but he also understands what he put me through and he knows there is no way we could have a life together given that he still gambles.
What It’s Like To Be In A Relationship With A Gambling Addict: The Aftermath | Thought Catalog
He has told me over and over how sorry he is. I also understand that there is help for those that want to stop gambling. He has to go when he feels the need. All you can do is keep encouraging them.
I could not live in crisis day in and day out, always knowing there was a little calm before the storm, having to hide my money and never knowing if what he said was the truth or a lie.