I think in most cases the guy isn't even aware this is happening. He is just casting his net and if an attractive girl shows up in it, he is going to go for it, at least in the short term. The dating scene is just so under supplied with women that for a lot of guys, a girl showing interest in him is enough for him to be interested. No one wants to be a consolation prize, but with so few women in SV, even if a guy acts like he is interested, how do you know you are his top choice?
How do you know when there is sincere chemistry on his side? Another consequence of this is that it seems like the really quality guys just don't even bother asking girls out because they don't want to be lumped in with the guys that will ask anything with a skirt out. There is definitely a certain type of guy in SV that just goes around asking girls out right and left, I wouldn't want to be associated with that guy either So you get a lot of these 'semi-desperate' sorry guys hitting on you, but the quality guys are sitting back and not making any moves.
Because of the lack of women, or because the guys here are really busy, there really isn't much of a casual dating scene. You get asked to 'grab coffee or a drink' but that isn't really dating. As another answerer pointed out it is often unclear in those situations if it is even a date or not. Actual dating just isn't very common in SV. Everyone is so busy working and stressing that there just isn't much importance put on dating for fun.
Whatever the reason, when a date actually does occur again this is rare, in favor of very informal coffee meet ups etc. Probably because it just isn't very common to go on a 'real' date here. Everyone is really stressed out and working a lot. Really similar to the previous point but a little different. I just feel like there is a lot of talk and complaining about the lack of women, but when it comes right down to it, a lot of the guys around here aren't leaving much time to meet girls. They would make time for a relationship if the perfect girl fell into their lap, but they aren't going to make time to do much active looking or dating.
Everyone has really high expectations around here. Everyone is looking for the 10x girlfriend. Um, this is hard to live up to. I don't look like Gisele, have an IQ of and play WoW or code for fun in my spare time when I'm not cooking elaborate gourmet dinners and I haven't founded any companies. No one wants to be the girl that everyone and his co-founder have dated. But it is a small community, and after a couple of dates with a couple of guys at different start-ups it could start to feel that way.
So then there is even more pressure to pick dates wisely. Women then compete for lucrative marriage prizes. NYC has both variables.
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I live in NYC and can think of three reasons. I bet it is a variety of factors, all adding up: I just doubt it's one thing. Nice reply and do agree with: I have friends with kids there. If you have enough money, it's still great. It only sucks if you're financially struggling or sending your kids through the SF public school lottery.
Even if you're not rich, it might not be so bad. I grew up in a state known for it's amazing public school system, and it was still a bunch of bullshit. I would have rather grown up somewhere I could have ridden my bike every day of the year and gotten college credits from one of the best community college systems in the country. I had kids in SF. You are either going to spend a spectacular amount of money to rent a town house in an acceptable part of San Francisco and put up with an insane public school system , or your kids are going to grow up in a California suburb.
That's a dilemma I'm happy to avoid. The SF public school lottery is garbage, but many of the suburbs are great. Would rather grow up or raise kids in San Mateo vs. I'm getting a kick out of the Schaumburg comments. I lived there in the mid 90s, working in the next suburb north of there, Rolling Meadows.
At least then it was a pretty soulless place and better known as Scumburg and Rolling Ghettos.
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I live in a tiny village in the foothills of the Berkshires now. Last night was spent listing to the year old town military band perform on the grounds of the historical society in perfect weather. My small kids ran around and played off by themselves and as I walked around I said hi to people I know and who know me. Maybe I'm just getting old but that one simple night was worth more than anything living in SF could give me. The uncanny resemblance that everything south of South San Francisco and east of Oakland has to Schaumburg definitely informs a lot of my opinions about the area.
If you're going to live in a Schaumburg, you should indeed pick Silicon Schaumburg, and not Frozen Schaumburg.
The 'cultural desert' of Silicon Valley finally gets its first serious art gallery
That's what I'm sayin'. Citywise, I don't know enough about New Chicago to make an informed opinion. I vowed never to return in , but I've heard it's become a great place.
Don't mistake this for boosterism. I love this city, but I'm motivated more by hatred of strip malls. Spent half year there in Miami is fucked up. Would live in regular Schaumburg before I lived in Miami again.
Miami is kind of cool because it is fucked up. But I was glad to get out of there. Also, I thought this was in the context of raising kids?
I left SF/SV because the dating scene was so bad and I felt like my startup enfo | Hacker News
Miami seems like the textbook example of the wrong place to raise kids I don't know if it's right to compare all of silicon valley suburbia to schaumburg, either. I think San Mateo is much different than Palo Alto, and both are much better than say The urban density in San Mateo is higher than Minneapolis, for example. I would love to talk about this all day, but need to cut myself off at this post I grew up in SF.
Parents didn't have money, went through the public school system. Public schools here aren't that bad, as long as you apply yourself and get into the magnet schools. Still live here too. The dilemma I have now is that I hate the commute to my south bay job, but I don't want to live the city.
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